Yinz needs tell Doctor, "Yinz Welcome."

Uh-huh. Rudeness in the Burgh.

It is no secret that there are quite a few small things that I find a little irritating about my being a transient resident of Pittsburgh. One such no-see-um, I swat at it but can't squish it, bugger-like-annoyance has been the Burghish variant of manners. Now, I recognize that mannerisms are certainly regional. And I am all right with the fact that there is a variant of English spoken here that I will probably never really understand (but you can read all about it other places online, or have yourself a little fun at home with your very own Yinzer doll (you should totally follow this link, btw)). But one thing that I find overwhelmingly frequent, and rude, is the prevalence and use of the colloquial, "Uh huh."

What does this rambling crap even mean?

I will tell you.

Gimme a sec.

Ok.

The local vernacular includes the use of the slang phrase "uh huh" in many situations in which others might say, "I'm sorry!" or "Excuse me!" or "You're welcome."

This might not seem like much, but after my being smacked with a grocery cart by a soccer mom, in shock I exclaimed, "Excuse me!"
She replied, "uh huh."

In a shop, if I pay for something and the clerk hands me my change, I say, "Thank you." Where I am from, a reasonable reply to this might be, "You're welcome."
But on many occasions here in the Pitt, in lieu of a respectful return nicety, I have been told, you guessed it, "uh huh."

Uh-huh, to the uninitiated, sounds dismissive. It is paramount to your saying aloud, "you owe me, bitch."

a little review of a little bistro: Legume.

Highs and Lows. Magic Meat & Pork Salad.

I had a mixed experience at Legume a little while ago. I loved the space - small, intimate, familial and unpretentious. I loved the service - the hostess greeted me by name when I walked in with my party (wow!), and the waiter was informative-but-not-snotty, prompt-but-not-pushy, and seemed like a nice guy in general. The food, however, was a mixed bag.

I will start by saying that I thought that only one of the two appetizers we ordered was worth eating, and that the portions for both were very small for the price. In a town where nearly everything is supersized, I can appreciate a degree of restraint. However, I would typically imagine that two apps to be shared among four people is more than enough to start a meal. In this case, they were both smallish. We ordered a fig and fruit and cheese dish that was tasty and bright, albeit simple. It was fine but unspecial, but (and as a general theme for our entire experience at Legume), the ingredients really shined.

The second app was what I can only describe as a ham salad. Pork rillette turned into toast points containing what tasted like Hellman's mayonnaise diluted with bits of unseasoned canned ham. Like, the kind wrapped in paper with a little devil on the package... Blech. I hated it and felt like I was being served an attempt at recycling a bad leftover. I think I actually spat it into my napkin. Just not worth the effort to chew it.

So I was kinda feeling bummed and unenthusiastic when my entree arrived.

Good thing that it cheered me right up, as the wafting earthy smell of butter and mushrooms and thyme rose from the enormous bowl of steaming goodness set before me and defrosted my critical little soul.

I was served a house-made wide noodle with braised Kobe beef. The fatty marble of the meat had fully rendered away during the long cooktime and yielded an amazingly soft, aromatic, soul-warming treat atop the flavorful and rustic pasta. The pasta was toothy, buttery, and just plain good. The sauce was simple, homey and mild, and the vegetables (mostly mushrooms) were tender and tasty. I think it is a real trick to turn a one-bowl meal of comfort food into a gourmet experience, but Legume did it in a way that felt effortless with this one. A winner.

(and it reheated very nicely the next day, the serving was too big for me to finish as the dish is quite rich and hearty. I added a touch of beef stock, tossed it in a skillet, heated it all through, and served it over some parsnip puree with a micro-poached egg on top. The kind of brunch meal that makes you just feel nourished in a genuine way. nummy!)

A salad of lovely mixed greens and a tangy dressing rounded out the meal, I was too full to enquire about desserts. Wine was b.y.o.b. which I loved.

All in all, I liked Legume, I loved the space and the service, and I would go back. Next time, I'll skip the apps and order dessert. If you try it, I hope you'll let me know how it went. And if you see this tiny girl taking mental notes in this tiny bistro, be sure to say, "hi." Legume is that kind of a friendly place, perfect for a cold night with friends.

The sleeper must awaken...

I have been missing the autotherapeutic effects of venting my angst and snack-lusts here over the past many weeks. Sorry, dear friends, who actually subscribed to this blather rag, that I have left you so high and dry. More is coming. In fact, I wrote two posts on a plane yesterday, and will post 'em later.

In the meantime, I would like to suggest a local radio station that is actually good. Pittsbugh's WYEP is terrific. You can even stream it to your desk wherever you are (like I am right now) and get happy. Last night I enjoyed an hour of Bhangra in the car, and they play my not-quite-latest-but-still-great musical crush, Yoav.

WYEP is definitely something good in Pittsburgh. Enjoy.